


Misery Loves Company

by AnathemaAuthoress



Category: Big Mouth (Cartoon)
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, Canon-Typical Child Neglect/Abuse, Canon-Typical Sexuality, Comedy, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, M/M, OCs (I gave Matthew Parents), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, bisexual exploration, goading, kids trying to solve adult problems, long fic (probably), sleep overs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-08-08 03:54:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16421939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnathemaAuthoress/pseuds/AnathemaAuthoress
Summary: One night Matthew finds Jay sleeping in his hammock. He can’t just leave him there, but bringing in a stray is going to have consequences.





	1. Hanging from the Oaks

Matthew had the formula of  _ The Bachelor _ so deeply embedded in his psyche that he could predict the outcome for seasons to come, so being asked to take out the trash was a blessing. 

His narotic mother was only on episode three and already yelling at her least favorite contestants, so Matthew would happily take a raincheck. Still, he wished the plastic bag wasn’t wet and didn’t reek so heavily of Macallan. He tied it off anyway and wiped his hands on his jeans, regretted it, and washed up before grabbing the bag with three fingers and carrying it out in disgust.

To get to the dumpster, Matthew had to bypass the sliding door, go through the yard, open the fence on the far left, and step out into the back road where the container sat. It wasn’t a particularly long or difficult walk, but he only made it as far as halfway through the yard before he got caught up. 

“This is  _ not _ happening. I’m going to close my eyes, and when I open them, this waking fever dream will be gone. Then I will finish taking out the trash, return home, and gloat to mother that Cheryl was sent home, because  _ of course _ Cheryl was sent home.” Pinching the bridge of his nose, Matthew closed his eyes, drew in a breath, opened them again.

_ Sweet Sally Struthers, he’s still there!  _ And why not? If Jay was going to show up anywhere, uninvited and unannounced, why would it be anywhere but in the hammock strung between the trees in Matthew’s yard? He was sleeping there, looking just adjacent to cute. Hair was good, pouty lips sealed and quiet, but there was drool dripping down his chin and his arm was twisted under him in a fashion that couldn’t look good if a Hemsworth was doing it. Well, maybe if it was the  _ right  _ Hemsworth, but certainly not any Bilzerian.

Matthew set down the garbage and sauntered over. “Helloooo,” he whined and poked limply at the other boy. “Jay.”

“Nmph, I didn’t…” Jay muttered and shifted, pressed the honeycomb pattern of the hammock more fully into his cheek.

Matthew sighed, lowered his octave and cut the crap. “Jay!” He shook his classmate’s shoulder just rough enough to wake him and jolted back when he actually got a rise out of him.

“What!? Where!? I’ll eat it! I’ll eat it!” Jay sat straight up, rocked the hammock. His eyes were huge, like the time Matthew caught a raccoon digging through the trash. The two had been locked in a staring contest for what had felt like ages.

“I’d really rather you didn’t,” Matthew replied, somewhat sour at being startled and forced to regain himself. 

“Huh? Oh! Hey, Matthew! What are you doing here?”

“What? Jay, I live here. You didn’t know?” Matthew tried not to let his disappointment be too apparent. Here he had thought for an instant this was some strange attempt at friendship or even courtship in Jay-World, but instead it was just circumstance.

Jay looked between the house and the other boy. “Oh! This is your house! Cool, cool.” His gaze wandered to the hammock, or perhaps the ground visible through the hammock. “So, um, I was just camping out here. Looked comfortable. Totally makes sense. Super stylish outdoor bed swing. Seems like you.”

Matthew rolled his eyes, though the edge wasn’t really there. “It’s a hammock. And it’s my mom’s. Nothing special. Dare I ask why you chose here to take up residence?”

“Well, sometimes I play adventure magician and, uh, appear and disappear in other people’s yards. Especially nice ones.” Jay was fiddling with the rope edge of his makeshift bed and there was a rare glimmer of shame in the otherwise bold boy. Matthew could take or leave it. It made his chest squirm.

“So your brothers kicked you out and you crashed here.” 

“Yeah, basically.”

“ _ Triple fudge cookies, _ fine,” Matthew sighed heavily. “Come with me.”

“Uh, okay. What about cookies?”

Matthew didn’t explain his expletive or his intentions and made Jay follow him first to the trash, then back to the house. Once they were inside, it was clear Jay was nervous.

“You aren’t gonna call the cops or something are you? ‘Cause I won’t sleep there again if it’s not cool.”

“Hush,” Matthew said flippantly. He leaned around the doorframe to look in where his mother was indulged in her reality drama. “Mom, I’m having a friend stay over. Okay?” 

She waved her hand without turning around. “Ask your father.”

“‘Kay,” he sing-sang, despite practically losing his pupils to his brain. “This way,” he instructed Jay without missing a beat.

“You want me to stay over?” Jay was fighting a grin, but again Matthew ignored him as he led them upstairs. They came to a door in the hall where Matthew stopped, knocked twice and then tossed it open. 

Behind it was an older version of Matthew with darker hair, glasses, and a pen in one hand and whiskey in the other. He looked to be working on something.

“Dad, mom says I can have a friend over. That okay?” Matthew didn’t bother coming all the way in, just leaned lazily on the frame.

“Mmm, boy or girl?”

Matthew shuffled from one foot to the other. “Boy?”

His father lifted a brow. “What kind of friend?”

Matthew set his face in a scowl of disapproval. He stepped back to reveal Jay behind him.

“Oh! Hey, Jay. Love your dad’s law commercials.” A smile drew itself on the man’s face. “Sure, pal. Jay can stay over. Have fun.”

“Thanks, bye.” Matthew shut the door before the two could strike up a conversation. His father say Jay as green light, safe territory. Too much talking could slur that. Besides, Matthew hated chitchat.  

“Your dad seems nice,” Jay said as he followed along obediently. He was a decent puppy, Matthew had to admit.

“He’s fine. This is my room.” He pushed open the door to reveal the tidy sheets, sorted bookcase, and organized desk that made up most of his room. The only things out of place were a stack of cds he’d been sorting in the morning and the pile of wires threading off his laptop, leftover from some film transfers he’d been doing.

“Wow! It’s so clean,” Jay said in awe. Then he scratched the back of his neck and,  _ bless his soul _ , he looked timid.

“Not like you, you filthy, filthy boy,” growled Maury. He’d suddenly appeared beside Matthew, purring and also uninvited. A night for visitors. Splendid.

Matthew handwaved Maury without otherwise acknowledging him. “You can stay here tonight. Since your brothers are being assholes.”

“That’s so cool of you, Matthew. But like, are you sure it’s okay?”

Matthew’s fists balled up at his sides, but he made sure to contain his anger in his grips. “I’m not going to bust a move on you, Jay. My parents are home, not to mention my overwhelming lack of desire.”

Jay smiled, a sort of unsure, uneasy smile. Then he shrugged and he seemed more himself. “That’s nice of you. So, uh, where do I sleep?”

“We have a futon. I’ll get it. In the meantime…” Matthew paused, looked his guest up and down and wrinkled his nose. Then gestured with a twirling finger toward his personal bathroom. “My shower is over there. Please, partake.”

“Oh, I just bathed at school, like, two days ago,” Jay assured.

“Not optional, I’m afraid. Required for entry. You must be at least  _ this _ clean to use the futon.” Matthew waved his hand up and down his own body.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been that clean,” Jay admitted.

“Try.”

Once Jay was peeling off his clothes–and naturally he didn’t wait until he was in the bathroom to do so–Matthew rushed from the room before Maury found anything to comment on. Though there was sadly, little escaping the hormone monster.

“You could’ve stayed a minute. Took in the scenic view, if you catch my drift,” growled the beast.

Matthew hurried down the hall to the closet to find the old futon. “As usual, you are far from subtle. I’m just lending a helpful hand.”

“Oh, I bet. If you play your cards right, maybe he’ll let you use both.”

“Stop. I’m abstaining from your antics. I will not be the creepy gay predator that invites men in to prey upon them.”

“What kind of creepy gay are we gonna be then, toots?” Maury waggled his eyebrows suggestively, tried to get a rise.

Matthew sighed as he pulled down the rolled up mattress. This was going to be a  _ long _ night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, folks! I was super blown away by all the comments on my last fic! I'll be getting back to everyone asap, but just know I appreciate the positive feedback. 
> 
> I haven't had as much time to do fanfic as I'd like, but I wanted to toss up this first chapter of an idea I had for a long fiction. There isn't much to it now, but I promise it's going to get angsty and smutty later so mind the tags if that's not your thing. I'll try to keep it comedic though if I can manage, haha! Let me know what you thought in the comments!


	2. Hit the hay

Matthew knew to work quickly once he heard the shower running. He laid out the futon–close enough to his own bed that they could talk in whispers, but far enough so Jay wouldn’t get stepped on–then he swiftly gathered up Jay’s clothes, and tried not to inhale too deeply as he took them to the laundry room.

Once the cycle was started, he returned, pulled his least favorite pajamas from his closet, and tossed them onto the bathroom sink without looking in. “Clothes are on the sink!”

Underwear had been a definite volley, but ultimately Jay’s needed washed, and Matthew’s hormones couldn’t handle the prospect of Jay in any of his. So comando he’d be for the next thirty minutes plus dry cycle, though Matthew doubted Jay would mind much. As for the night pants, well, Jay could keep them. Or burn them. Whatever.

Matthew sat at the edge of his bed and tried to sort out why his heart was pounding. He felt like he’d just run a marathon and his palms were sweating. He cringed in disgust and wiped his hands on his jeans.

“No need to waste good lube,” Maury jeered. He was laid back on the futon, arms folded beneath his head and crossed leg gently bouncing as he gazed up mischievously at his charge. “Better in the pants than on.”

“What is wrong with me? I’m glossier than Rocky during ‘Sword of Damocles’.” Matthew’s voice was soft like he was afraid Jay might overhear, even with the water running full force.

“Wrong? Babe, listen, this is natural. Lean into it. Bliss out on the sweet slide of your own juices. Oh, what I wouldn’t give to be the oil on another guy’s skin. And Jay’s so juicy already. Got that nice olive skin, mmhmm–“

“Stop! Please, for the love of all that is holy. Just ew. Is there a reason you are electing to be extra repulsive today?” Matthew asked of his hormone monster.

Maury sat up on the futon and shrugged. “Sorry kid, I’m vibing on _your_ juju.” Matthew’s face fell in shame and Maury quickly slid up to sit beside his kid. “Hey now. No biggy. It’s just like every other time, right? Remember Lawrence? How you got all shaky around him?”

Matthew grinned, remembering the boy from the single interpretive dance class he’d ever taken. “Ugh, yes, Lawrence. He sure could move.”

“He sure could.” Maury’s eyes dilated before returning to normal. “But see? This is just like that, but worse, you know? Because you, well–“

“Because I’m older now? Because I kissed him and can’t stop reliving it over and….” Matthew let his words trail off softly.

“That’s why you’re my favorite,” Maury said with surprising sincerity and gave his charge a pat on the back.

Just then, the sound of the water was replaced by the squeal of the turning knobs and the telltale click of the radiator valve closing. Moments later, Jay strutted out of a haze of steam, hair wet and slicked back, and flaccid prick far too readily outlined in the thin teal material of the pajama pants he wore. Matthew suddenly and deeply regretted not sacrificing a pair of his own underwear for the occasion.

“Thanks for the loan, man,” Jay said enthusiastically. “These are, like, insanely soft.”

“Consider them yours,” Matthew said, a bit more exhausted than he’d intended. Then, without giving Jay time to protest or get weird about it, he brandished a copy of Diablo 3 and gestured toward the medium-sized television and gaming system in the corner of his room. “Wanna play?”

Jay’s eyes lit up and he flopped unceremoniously on the edge of Matthew’s bed and made grabby hands towards the controller. “Dude! I’ve only gotten to play this once at Nick’s place. So cool!”

Matthew couldn’t help but be charmed and he handed over his spare controller. “Okay, but I’m the mage. You can have any other class, but not the mage!”

Video games were a shockingly good distraction. Matthew had played through the game enough times to not need to lend it his full attention, but when he did get distracted it was only for a few moments at a time. It was surprising how good Jay smelled when he was clean. Matthew had caught whiffs in gym class before, but it was something else to sit shoulder to shoulder and get a hint of it every time the other boy shifted.

Even still, Matthew did a remarkably good job of restraining himself for the better part of the night. Maury was even mostly quiet, either subdued or elsewhere.

Eventually, there was a short debacle about getting Jay back into his newly cleaned undies, but after that it was mostly smooth sailing.

They laid down sometime after the rest of the house went quiet. Jay seemed perfectly content on his little futon and Matthew settled into bed, only vaguely perturbed by the knowledge that his crush was cocooned just below on the floor beside him.

“Goodnight,” he said, reasonably calm.

“Night, Matthew. Um, thanks again.”

Those few short words made Matthew’s heart rattle like a caged butterfly and then he mentally kicked himself for thinking about it in those terms. He was not a damn cliche! Not a girl, and not a slave to his hormones. His heart was an organ, not a damn insect. Even still, he couldn’t fight the warmth in his cheeks.

It should have ended there, little more than taunting, but Matthew’s nerves forbade him to sleep. The dark of the room seemed filthy somehow, erotically thick as if the lack of illumination held weight.

He ignored it for an admirably long time before his prick started to awaken from the swell of misplaced blood.

“No, no, no,” Matthew whispered. He sealed his eyes closed tight and tried to ignore the press of his crown against the cotton of his underwear.

It was no use. His mind wouldn’t stop hissing filthy notions and filtering disjointed illusions on the back of his eyelids. Then it got worse as those haphazard thoughts were given a mouthpiece.

“Touch it. Come on, baby. Just reach in there and give it a pet.” Suddenly, Maury was beside Matthew, resting on an elbow and leaning in dangerously shy of a hormone monster code violation.

“Go away,” Matthew hissed, even as his face turned cherry.

“Just a tug. A little twist and shout sans shout? Cut me some slack here, you don’t get off nearly enough. You gotta touch it. Touch it, touch it, touch it!”

“First of all, I have a _regiment_ , which you very well know. And second, does that ever work on your other charges?”

“Usually,” Maury replied with a shit-eating grin.

“Of course.” Matthew feigned exhaustion, but he was happy the banter took his mind off his crotch a little.

“Sooo…”

“I have company over!”

“What of it? That kid jerks it like he’s afraid to lose it.”

Matthew couldn’t suppress a quiet snicker. “Yeah he really–“

“Actually…” Maury interrupted. Suddenly, both of the bed’s occupants were facing toward where Jay was. They couldn’t see him without leaning over the mattress, but it was a largely symbolic gesture anyway. “Why hasn’t he touched himself? That boy’s usually a freak. He’s got more steam than an 1820 locomotive.”

“Unusually specific,” Matthew chastised with a roll of his eyes. Though the thought had made him curious enough to test the spring silence of his bed. He slowly, carefully leaned over the edge.

There, in the futon, was Jay. Resting peacefully.

Matthew felt a swell of guilt, regret, and something like rejection collect in his throat. He laid quietly back down against his pillows. “He fell asleep.”

“Oh,” Maury replied, equally stunned. “Maybe he was just tired? Forget it, just makes it easier for us!”

“I’m going to sleep,” Matthew said coldly. He shut his eyes and pulled his quilt up to his chin.

“Wait? What?” Maury brayed in disbelief. “That’s one of the ripest you’ve ever grown! You gotta pluck them grapes or shit will get real, kid.”

“Going. To. Sleep.” Matthew exhaled sharply and settled in as best as his discomfort would allow.

Maury sighed. He realized quickly Matthew wouldn’t be persuaded. “Sure thing. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Matthew ignored his monster and tried to relax. It would probably go down on its own. He had no doubt everything would be perfectly fine come morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! So I wanted to update this sooner, but my living situation changed shortly after posting chapter one and it's left me with very little time for fanfic. That said, wowzers! I never expected that little chapter one to blow up like it did. You guys are amazing. I'll try to update whenever I can (I have about six more chapters mapped out so far), but hopefully this gave everyone something to chew on. As always, comments are appreciated! Let me know what you think!


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